Her story: At age 15, I left my twin island of Trinidad and Tobago to pursue a volleyball career in Poland. Something quite taboo for a Caribbean girl who was raised in a society that believed in education as the sole route to success. The decision to allow me to pursue my dream was the last straw that resulted in my parents' separation. You can only imagine the trauma experienced for a young girl and her sisters, but by the grace of God, our family unit was restored. Thinking that I had left that hurdle behind and was on to a soar to a successful career in sport, I was deeply discouraged to find myself far from family only to spend two out of the three years with my team on the bench, with barely any opportunity to show the talent I knew I had within me. "All that distance and sacrifice to be a cheerleader," I thought, while my teammates instantly made the starting six. The very last game during my 2nd year, I was finally given the opportunity to prove my worth to my team, staff and coaches and earned a spot on the starting line up for year three. However, due to financial mismanagement, the club encountered money problems and my teammates and I were made to leave without ever seeing our salary.
Despite that scarring situation, I continued to pursue my dream career the following year in France, ready to begin again, only to realize that I was once again starting from square one. Year four of my career, back to the bench, waiting game by game to make my mark. Eventually it happened but the reigning experience arriving only at the end of the season was short lived.
I ended that year on a high performance, expecting this to be "IT!" I was convinced in my heart that I'd be recruited by a top team and my career would finally take flight. But that year, as seasons began all over the world I was stuck at home, jobless.
Five months into the Russian volleyball season, I received a call for an opening on a team who had an injured player. Russia? Top team? Finally!!! The big break I had been waiting on for years! I packed my bags eager to go, but something about leaving my shores this time was different....
My boyfriend began showing signs of mental health challenges that he had never experienced before. He was always the rock, the most intelligent, wise, intellectual youthful man I had known and to see him decide to take a year off from studying at law school brought on an overwhelming feeling of guilt to leave him as I went on to pursue my career. Of course he encouraged me to go, but it simply wasn't the same.
Three months later, on February 4th, 2015, Akiel committed suicide.
Nothing in my life prepared me for this. Of all the obstacles I'd had to overcome, this was by far the worst. I was allowed a total of six days to return to Trinidad to put my love to rest. Two days to travel there, two days for the funeral, two days to return to Russia. The day Akiel died, a part of me was buried 6ft beneath with him. No words, no hymn, no kind condolence could plaster the undeniable hole left my heart. Akiel's last words to me were, "I want you to go on and be the very best volleyball player you can be." However for the years to come it was extremely difficult, not just to come to terms with the loss, but to pull myself out of the dark space I entered when the sun suddenly set on his life.
Nevertheless, I kept going. With the love and support of family and friends, some much needed therapy sessions, reading books on dealing with grief and the love and grace of God, I found Channon 'D Cannon' again and continued to chase my dream of being one of the best in the world and competing in Champions League!
In 2018, I went through the same experience of not having a job for the first half of the season but was eventually recruited by a German team that I was able to assist jump several spaces in the ranking to finish among the top. At the end of that year, I was personally contacted by the head coach of the Championship team who recruited me to play for them the following season. FINALLY! My golden ticket to Champions League! With uniforms printed, sneakers shone, I was ready and eager to make my debut.
But shortly after the season began in October, on November 19th 2019, I tore my plantar fascia on the very first point during our home game.
Immediately I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor estimated six weeks for the comeback. That meant that I'd miss a few of the first games in Champion's League, but according to my calculations I'd have been back in time for the German Cup finals and the 2nd half of Champions League. "I could do this!" I thought.
Shortly after that rehab process began, I started experiencing persistent severe pain in my left knee which the doctors concluded needed to be operated on. Just when I thought this was it, I underwent a knee surgery that, not only completely snuffed out that season from beneath me, it also resulted in the club's decision to cancel my contract for the second year. What made it even worse was that after the season closed in March due to the pandemic, I was stuck in Germany, after all my teammates had gone home, because of the government's decision to completely close the borders in Trinidad and Tobago for locals and tourists alike. My emotional and mental health was severely threatened during this period but by the grace of God and acts of kindness by people who barely knew me, I eventually made it through.
As stressed, heart broken and disappointed as I was, I decided to keep going; managing to pick up the pieces and rebuild again. For almost an entire year, I went through intense rehabilitation for my knee and was fortunately recruited by a top Hungarian team as reinforcement to assist them to win this year's title! With all my excitement and readiness to get this show back on the road, I took the chance to leave my island with the borders still closed, in order to continue to pursuing my dreams.
During the very first practice with my new team, I completely tore my ACL.
After spending Christmas and New Year's away from family, this seemed far from worth the sacrifice. Immediately after diagnosis, due to the extended recovery period needed, my contract was canceled and a new player soon took my place. I would go home, but since the borders are still closed in Trinidad and Tobago, I have to wait for an exemption to return.
I now write to you from Hungary. After undergoing an operation on January 27th to reconstruct the torn ligament, I now begin again, the long road to recovery. Even though it has been a difficult journey, I am grateful for everything I've been through because it has made me who I am today. I share with you my story because no matter what has happened, this dream, this vision within my heart, I refuse to let it die. Because I see it so vividly when I close my eyes, I will continue to exercise resilience in the pursuit, with every breath I breathe.
And if I perish, I perish, but never will it be written of me the words, "She gave up."
My story is still being written and this is what I believe will bring hope and inspiration to others. Many women are currently facing difficult situations and I want them to know that I stand there, in the storm, with them. Not from the standpoint of having gone through and waving from the other side, but in the boat with them, in the here and now; hoping that my courage in sharing my experiences openly and authentically, will inspire if even just one person, to keep on going.
There is something wildly dangerous about a woman who refuses to fold. No matter how many times life knocked me over, I purposed in my heart to keep bouncing back. And not only WILL I keep bouncing back, but I want to inspire that same ferocious resilience in other women, reminding them of the power that already lies within.
Favorite quote: "One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming." ~ Morgan Harper Nichols
"As long as there is life, there is hope."
Woman who inspires her: Honestly, if you'd ask me this a few weeks ago, I'd be a bit stumped. But I recently discovered the story of a beautiful soul named Michelle Ana. (@lovemichelleana on IG) Her amazing story of love, loss and life after grief at such a young age, speaks to every innermost part of my being that threatens to give up. Witnessing how she rebuilt her life after a trauma that reminds me so much of my own, inspires me to keep on going not only for myself, but to show up and serve a community of other humans waiting on me to release my heart for their freedom.
FOUNDER, GOOD STEPS
From corporate attorney to motherhood to entrepreneur of a business for social good